Thinking about Moms

Here it is again, the chance to honor moms. I always have a twinge of guilt and heartache as we approach Mother's Day. I think of my many friends who are STILL waiting to be moms through adoption- who are such models of perseverance and faithfulness. Ladies, I haven't forgotten you and most importantly, the Lord is still faithful in remembering your desire. He placed the desire in your hearts for the children you will parent. There are some friends who are just beginning the adoption journey- and they are anxious and naive (let's be real) about the long and emotional journey ahead. That's a good season, too.

In addition to thinking of my waiting mama friends, I think of the birth moms out there. I personally know birth moms who have made the sacrificial decision to let their birth children be adopted- and I can imagine that their hearts ache to be honored too. You are mamas. You are brave, and I honor you.

I think of my friends who have lost babies. Especially you, K. Working in the foster system I am constantly reminded of how broken our world is, and how things just aren't right here. Our lives cry out for redemption and restoration- and thankfully that is coming. If we did not have hope in Jesus, I don't know what we would do. Sweet moms who have lost babies, I honor you this weekend too. It has to be hard. I know you don't want to go to church and see kids dedicated to the Lord Sunday, knowing that your little one didn't get that chance, or that you won't get a homemade card this year. I hate it too.

And then... our birth mom. Israel's first mom. I must admit that as the years have gone on, I think of her less. The first year almost everything that Israel did I wanted to tell her or show her. Laziness on my part has kept me from being intentional in thinking and praying for her as I once did. I cannot help but look at him and feel a sigh of relief and gratitude that he is mine. I am so grateful and honored that the Lord would see fit that I, of all people, would be the one to be his mama. In a perfect world, Israel wouldn't be in my house- he would be in Ethiopia with his birth mom. But that's not the case- and I have to say that I am thankful that the Lord would let our family benefit from His redemptive plan.

This year has been a hard year for me as a mom: giving birth, breastfeeding, working, etc. I constantly feel stretched to my limit and exhausted. Yet- I love it. I am grateful that my everyday is a constant dependence on the Holy Spirit to have enough to give the little people entrusted to me. My children have taught me so much, and have given me so much joy and perspective. Israel's developmental journey has challenged my idols and allowed me to see parts of my heart that were yucky. I want to have a picture-perfect life, and I don't. My kids have showed me how weak I am and how I must depend on others. Having young children requires that you pour out everything every day- and it is not easy and sometimes I just want to be selfish. Having children has taught me how much the Lord has loved me, and what a devastating , beautiful sacrifice it was for his son Jesus to die on the cross.

It is amazing to me that I am a mom of two beautiful and precious children. Every person has challenges and the Lord gives grace to each of us in the exact portion that we need, but I am blown away that my portion involves Edith and Israel. God is so generous.

Thinking of all of you ladies out there today.