I am about to let you in on a big secret.
When we started this process last March, I thought to myself that I wouldn't let myself get that emotionally invested, in case this whole adoption thing didn't pan out. I didn't want to be vulnerable or allow myself to be hurt or disappointed.
Let me just tell you, that didn't last.
I think any adoptive parent will testify that there are no passive adoptions. You can't really half-heartedly spend hours of time on education, paperwork, or homestudies, or be willing to spend the thousands of dollars it takes to bring home a baby, if you're not "in it to win it" and in love with the baby you will bring into your family. Sure, we don't know who our baby is yet, but let me tell you - that baby is prayed over and loved.
The reason I bring this up, is because God didn't passively adopt His children. He didn't go through the sacrifice of sending his only son, Jesus, to die on our behalf because he was semi-interested in us, or because He thought it would be a "good thing" to save people from life apart from Him. He adopts His children because He loves them.
Even though this road can be frustrating and very vulnerable at times (imagine notarizing all your private information, making lots of copies of it, and sending it to multiple people), it is worth it. We haven't even met our baby and we know that this journey is worth it.
Recently I was chatting with a friend about the possibly longer wait, and she asked why didn't we just try to get pregnant now. Well, although a pregnancy could always happen (unplanned, that is) we are "all in" for this adoption. Our hearts are set and the Lord has continually affirmed this path for us. We pray for the brown-skinned baby that we hope to bring home.
And one thing that has continually been affirmed in my heart in the last year is that the Lord is so faithful. Even when I doubt and ask how things can come to be, He already has the details set before us. We are choosing to walk forward in faith that no matter what happens next, the Lord will lead us as He has already done.