God is Not Holding Back

I'll be transparent here, there was a time a few weeks ago where I was in a cloud of darkness, just letting my flesh be overtaken with doubt about God's goodness. I was like, alright Lord, YOU are the one who put the desire for adoption in our hearts. You said in scripture that we should care for the orphan. You have provided the way for us so far, making it clear for us that this is the path that we are to be on. So what's up? Why are you holding out on us? Why are you keeping us from being parents? We're ready, Lord! If you are going to put this desire in our hearts, then why make us wait so long?

And thankfully, I had some dear friends show me that my heart was in a wrong place, and I needed to root myself in scriptures. (De ja vu? Is this the same lesson I'm learning all the time?)

For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. Psalm 84:11

So I need to change my prayers- focusing a little bit more on the praising, a bit less on the petitioning, amen? At some point the persistent widow needs to be thankful for what she has. I will praise God for giving me the love for our baby already. I will praise Him for providing a tangible way to be a part of restoring one orphan to a family. I will praise God for giving us the means to adopt and the community that encourages us. I will praise God for being God, and that my circumstances should not affect what amount of praise He deserves. He is not holding back good things from me at all, in fact He is pouring his goodness and mercy on me in new and overflowing ways every single day!

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
   for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
   great is your faithfulness. 
Lamentations 3:22-23


......And in an unrelated note, if you are someone who is in our circle- as in we talk, see each other, communicate in some way regularly (or not regularly), do you mind doing me a favor? Will you take 5 minutes and read this blog post:
http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/11/02/how-to-be-the-village
............And in another unrelated note, I want to give a "shout out" to my friends who have been so good to me lately. Thanks to those of you who have made me realize what a beautiful community that I have and how God has indeed blessed me with some women who speak truth into my life and care about our baby. Thanks for the care packages, stuff to take to Hannah's Hope, the cards and hugs. I feel loved, and you have been used by God to show me how much He loves me.