Glimpses of Hope

I always struggle with knowing how much to disclose about Israel. I follow blogs of other kids with special needs, and recently a mom with a child who has CP wrote a very realistic update, which was so encouraging to me. I know there may be other mamas with special kids reading this, and I hope that our story encourages you to know you're not alone.

The other day Israel got a new accessory: orthotics (leg braces). These are to help him because he has really low muscle tone, and his legs can't bear the weight of his body so that he can stand/walk. Our local Children's Rehabilitation Services paid for these for us! It is a huge blessing.

Things like his braces and glasses are outward signs that something is "different" with Israel, which makes it hard for us. I love my son and wouldn't trade him for anything, but I get sad FOR Israel sometimes.

The other day, we took the kids to a birthday party with a bunch of small kids in various ages. There were kids around Israel's age, younger and older, who were just running in circles around the birthday party. They were climbing the stairs, running around, playing with balloons, etc. Meanwhile, Israel was sitting off on the side, completely happy, just babbling away and clapping. I had to help him eat his food while the other kids sat on a blanket eating together. After dinner, the kids lined up and received cupcakes and ate them together, then continued running around. I put Israel on the blanket with them after he finished his dinner, and he watched the other kids until they took off and he was left alone on the blanket. He just sang and smiled on that blanket.

I ended up going to the bathroom and tried to hold back tears. It is so hard sometimes. I want so badly for Israel to be able to participate with his peers. I want him to be able to run in circles, stand in line for a cupcake, and sing happy birthday with everyone else. He is so precious! He is such a happy boy and has no idea that he is different or missing out on anything. But that may change. And his peers will realize that he needs help and that he can't play with them in the same way. Will they still try to play with him? Will he be left out?

It just makes me ache. I long for Israel to walk and talk. But I must, I must trust in God's sovereignty. I must rely on God's grace for Israel and realize that God's plans are bigger.

So, Israel got braces a few days after the party. It was a long day and Will and I were both a little disheartened (I'd been in a slump since the birthday party). We treated Israel with lunch out, then took him home. We have started doing what we call "Israel Cheer Time" at night, when we work on his physical therapy. We normally "walk" with Israel by holding him by the hands and kicking his legs out one at a time. He will lock his knees and just stand there, not helping at all.


But that day was different. When we tried to "walk" with him, he not only picked up his leg but he BENT HIS KNEE. Will and I were both sobbing as we walked around the house with Israel, cheering him on. This may not seem like a big deal to you, but to us, it was the first glimpse of hope we've had in a long time.



We've done Israel Cheer Time several times, and he continues to bend his knee. We are so proud of our son for making some small progress!

Here's our son in some of our other PT settings at home. I've never posted pictures like this before on the internet, because I was too proud to admit this is our life. But I'm not ashamed anymore, because this is part of our son's story, and God is using it for His glory.

Israel's stander, which he has used for about a year, almost every day:

Israel's contraption to encourage crawling:


I'm so thankful for our therapists and social workers, and Israel's teachers at school who have worked with our son, helped us and advocated for our son to have the resources he needs. This has been a humbling experience and we are reminded that there is nothing we can do to heal our son but the Lord will when or if He chooses. God is giving us the grace we need for each step, and we are trusting in Him to bring beauty from ashes, as He always does.

Comments

  1. Just beautiful friend. Your heart, this post, your son, and the way God is at work. Love your genuineness. Praying Israel continues to make big progress!

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  2. You brought me to tears, Rebekah, because I really had no idea of the challenges you and Will have faced. God is using all of this for His glory and, as you so well know, will walk every step with you. With such amazing, caring, loving parents Israel is going to be successful in all the plans God has put in place for him and for the blessings you will experience through it all. You, Will and Israel are in our prayers and we hope to meet that adorable Edith Joy in the near future! ps - You look amazing after only a month since giving birth!!! Love you!

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    1. Thanks Mama Shirley! :) We appreciate your prayers! I'd love for you to meet my kiddos!

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  3. Go Israel!!!! It is hard Rebekah, especially seeing your child sit away from others as they play and he does his own thing. The small steps forward in progress are huge.

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    1. I know you understand kara! Thanks for encouraging us often.

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  4. YAY, Israel!!! You are doing so good!!! Love following his story! God is doing big things in his life! Love watching him grow and develop! You are an amazing mom, Rebekah!

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  5. oh praise our King for Israel and parents who will love and walk with him literally. love you both.

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  6. Thank you for being so honest! I have followed your blog since before Israel was home and this post brought tears to my eyes. All adoptive families have struggles of some sort and knowing that we aren't alone is huge! So thank you and I will be continuing to pray for your sweet family!

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  7. one of the most beautiful posts you've ever written. Thanks for sharing. Rejoicing with you in the progress you've seen with Israel, he is faithful! You're doing a great job mama!

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  8. For over a month, I've been meaning to come here and comment on this. (Commenting from a phone is the pits.) I am so proud of you for writing this. I remember our very brief conversation about this struggle and God is receiving glory already by your humility and courage in posting the everyday life you're experiencing. Thank you for consistently showing on your blog how to find joy in the circumstances we are in!

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  9. As a mom of a special needs almost-10 year old, I can relate to what you are saying about the outward differences and a child who isn't part of the "usual kid" crowd. We've had my daughter in special ed programming since she was 1. Once she was in school, she "met criteria" for the autism spectrum (labels were very hard for me). She has definite gross motor skill differences, as well as social differences, but even now (she just finished 3d grade) she doesn't see anything wrong with herself - though she knows she does some things differently - and her classmates have by a huge majority, accepted her and her differences and they have been very kind and helpful to her! Fingers crossed every year that it continues but keep a hold of your optimism!

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