FAQs: Boy or Girl??
So here are some commonly asked questions:
1. Do you want a boy or girl?
Well, we have the option of being on both the boy list and girl list, or just one of them... and we are choosing to be on BOTH lists. And although the boy numbers have always been lower than the girl numbers, it is not impossible that we would get a girl (several families who were on both lists received girl referrals despite the initial differences in #s). There are some days that we prefer one gender or the other. Some days I'm like "how in the world would I be able to do African hair well with a girl?" And some days I'm "wow the weight of raising a son is huge!" There are many ways we imagine having a little Ethiopian prince or princess too!
So basically, we have no preference. And despite our insecurities in certain aspects of having a son or daughter, we would be ecstatic either way. And we're so glad that we aren't making the decisions around here, that the Lord has hand-picked the child meant for our family. And who knows, maybe #1 will need a sibling that will be the opposite gender one day? (And with adoption as an option, you can get what you "want" haha!)
2. Do you pick your child?
The way it works with our agency is that there is a waitlist, and when you get to the #1 spot (hypothetically) you get a call with information about a child. You are free to not accept the referral, however, we had to be so specific about what we were open to accept in a referral, that it is highly unlikely that we would be shown a child that we wouldn't be interest in. So we do not go through a list of children and pick which one we want, but are matched through our agency. (That is how we are doing it, there are certainly agencies -even our own- that have waiting children that can be matched).
3. Do you have baby names?
Yes and no. We have baby names that we LIKE right now but are not sold 100% on baby names for either gender. I'm also way-against "claiming" names (I'm from a big family, it is not nice to claim names) so we are choosing to keep our options private for now. Also, our child will already have an Ethiopian name, and we very well may keep that name as its first name. (And just as a warning, we can't share its Ethiopian name until we are home with the baby). We know that when we see a picture/meet our child, we may change our minds about what name fits our baby and it may very well be that the Ethiopian name is exactly what fits best. (So if you're looking to give monogrammed gifts, you may have to hold off for a long time, haha).
4. With a wait this long, why don't you just get pregnant?
Ahhh... one of my least favorite questions! First, stop and read this post about adoption vs. pregnancy. Then, realize that although we are beyond thrilled to start our family through adoption, the whole point isn't JUST to get a baby. If we were JUST trying to get a baby, then we would have tried to get pregnant first. In our case, we are adopting now because we felt we were being obedient to the scriptures and knew that this was the calling the Lord put on our hearts in this time. And another thing, our agency has a firm birth-order policy, and requires a year (I think?) between each child in your home, so if we did get pregnant now, we would (by contract that we signed) not be able to move forward with this adoption because of their policies. So pregnancy right now is NOT what we are trying to do. And honestly, right now all we can think about is a little brown-skinned baby in our home! We can't wait and are so in love already!
Any other questions?
1. Do you want a boy or girl?
Well, we have the option of being on both the boy list and girl list, or just one of them... and we are choosing to be on BOTH lists. And although the boy numbers have always been lower than the girl numbers, it is not impossible that we would get a girl (several families who were on both lists received girl referrals despite the initial differences in #s). There are some days that we prefer one gender or the other. Some days I'm like "how in the world would I be able to do African hair well with a girl?" And some days I'm "wow the weight of raising a son is huge!" There are many ways we imagine having a little Ethiopian prince or princess too!
So basically, we have no preference. And despite our insecurities in certain aspects of having a son or daughter, we would be ecstatic either way. And we're so glad that we aren't making the decisions around here, that the Lord has hand-picked the child meant for our family. And who knows, maybe #1 will need a sibling that will be the opposite gender one day? (And with adoption as an option, you can get what you "want" haha!)
2. Do you pick your child?
The way it works with our agency is that there is a waitlist, and when you get to the #1 spot (hypothetically) you get a call with information about a child. You are free to not accept the referral, however, we had to be so specific about what we were open to accept in a referral, that it is highly unlikely that we would be shown a child that we wouldn't be interest in. So we do not go through a list of children and pick which one we want, but are matched through our agency. (That is how we are doing it, there are certainly agencies -even our own- that have waiting children that can be matched).
3. Do you have baby names?
Yes and no. We have baby names that we LIKE right now but are not sold 100% on baby names for either gender. I'm also way-against "claiming" names (I'm from a big family, it is not nice to claim names) so we are choosing to keep our options private for now. Also, our child will already have an Ethiopian name, and we very well may keep that name as its first name. (And just as a warning, we can't share its Ethiopian name until we are home with the baby). We know that when we see a picture/meet our child, we may change our minds about what name fits our baby and it may very well be that the Ethiopian name is exactly what fits best. (So if you're looking to give monogrammed gifts, you may have to hold off for a long time, haha).
4. With a wait this long, why don't you just get pregnant?
Ahhh... one of my least favorite questions! First, stop and read this post about adoption vs. pregnancy. Then, realize that although we are beyond thrilled to start our family through adoption, the whole point isn't JUST to get a baby. If we were JUST trying to get a baby, then we would have tried to get pregnant first. In our case, we are adopting now because we felt we were being obedient to the scriptures and knew that this was the calling the Lord put on our hearts in this time. And another thing, our agency has a firm birth-order policy, and requires a year (I think?) between each child in your home, so if we did get pregnant now, we would (by contract that we signed) not be able to move forward with this adoption because of their policies. So pregnancy right now is NOT what we are trying to do. And honestly, right now all we can think about is a little brown-skinned baby in our home! We can't wait and are so in love already!
Any other questions?
Love that ya'll are going to be surprised to find out if your baby will be a boy or girl! We didn't find out what we were having when I was pregnant with Caty...and it was so much fun!!! Can't wait to find out if you'll need pink or blue! :)
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