First Week and a Half Home

I can't believe we have been home for a week and a half! Time passes really slowly and quickly all at the same time. The first week-ish home has been really good and really hard. I feel like we have begun the bonding process with Israel, have seen a lot of his personality, and have seen areas where his grief has manifested.

The first night in our home: Will was introducing Israel Biruk to his new room and showing him how far we've come to bring him home.

Will left for Haiti around 2:30 on Monday morning and returned Wednesday evening. Those three days were really trying for me! My mom and Will's mom both came up for brief periods during those three days, and they only helped around the house- cooking, cleaning and doing laundry. Because we are in strict cocooning phase, I was the only one to hold, feed, change, bathe, comfort, etc Israel during the time that Will was gone, even though his grandmothers wanted so badly to get close to him! They were very respectful of the boundaries that we set- and it was a huge help to not have to worry about meals or laundry while Israel and I were recovering from jet lag and starting to get to know each other. In addition to the sleep deprivation, I also had a stomach bug courtesy of our travels... it was a rough beginning to our week home.

When Will got back Wednesday night, he had Thursday, Friday and Saturday off of work- so we had some great family time together. We did lots of snuggling and playing! We tried out our stroller, and even went to the doctor. The doctor's visit was another hard day- Israel had to have shots and some blood drawn, so that was traumatic enough; but we also had to do some developmental tests that were a little discouraging. We were assigned several exercises to do with Israel to get him caught up to speed, and we're hoping with the one-on-one attention he's getting Israel will pick up quickly!

At the Doctor's Office!

Throughout the week we have really seen Israel's personality shine through. He is SO FUNNY and has a million facial expressions. He will blow bubbles in the spoon when he's done eating, so whatever its contents were will splatter all over the place (carrots, peas, oatmeal, etc). He loves playing on his back and hates tummy time, although we have gotten up to 5 minutes of tummy time in on one occasion! He loves sitting on the porch and watching the cars go by.

The hard stuff: SLEEP. The first few days he was really confused about days/nights and I was really thinking this was never going to end. He would be up for long stretches from 12-4am or 1-5:30am and either be really, really happy or screaming in terror. Those nights happened to be when Will was gone, so I was up alone with him- crying alongside him. It was hard. Slowly, he has started to figure out the "routine" we're setting up. I've had some encouraging conversations with other adoptive mamas who have assured me that sticking to a routine and lowering expectations can help! He has gotten a lot better with sleep, waking 2-3 times a night (going to bed between 6-7) and then being up for the day between 3-5am.

This picture was taken in the middle of the night when Will was gone and Israel wasn't sleeping.

At first I was doing the whole "nap when he naps" as so many of you have recommended. That was nice when he would actually sleep in his crib during naps. For the last few days, he has refused to nap in his crib and is only happy sleeping in the Ergo. I certainly don't mind the snuggles, but he likes to be patted/rocked during his nap and will wake up if I stop, so I don't get to nap anymore! But, as friends have said, it is amazing how my body has accommodated to this new schedule and I am somehow surviving and no longer a zombie!

This is Israel blowing bubbles with his food!

The other hard thing about sleep is that this is when he is most vulnerable, so this is how he has expressed his grief the most. I don't think I could explain it unless you watched it, which is what my mom did when Will was gone. Poor baby, Israel just has a broken heart. Some nights I can see the fear in his eyes as I rock him to sleep and he is squirming and crying. I know he is tired. He is grieving, and sometimes there's no amount of speaking over him, snuggling or kissing that will comfort him.

Of course, there are small babysteps of attachment that we are seeing: he is starting to follow me and Will with his eyes when we are in the room, he responds to our voices (sometimes) and he will touch my face when he is eating a bottle or falling asleep. He likes being in the Ergo. He smiles at us when we kiss him, and he smiles and laughs at us when we talk to him closely.

We're doing well here overall! Certainly loving our son more by the second, as he has completely captured our hearts. It is amazing parenting Israel Biruk and we are so thankful that God gifted us with this precious boy.