Sleep Update

Since I got such a response from my previous post about our sleep issues, I thought I owed it to all of you who responded to give an update!

The great thing about asking for advice is that we got a LOT of suggestions from some seasoned mamas! We took a lot of it to heart and tried a lot of new things over the past few weeks... which resulted in some good changes and also a bit of frustration on our part and Israel's! We may have tried TOO much at one time.

Let me start by saying that we HAVE seen progress! We're sticking to more of a routine and have adjusted Israel's sleeping schedule a good bit. We will have 2-3 nights of really good progress (and sleep!) and then have 1-2 nights where things seem to step backwards.

What has worked/ what are we doing for sleep routines:
1. Following Israel's cues. Especially at nap time- the moment he gets fussy and rubs his eyes, he gets strapped in the Ergo and he falls asleep minutes later. I was trying to get him to "hold out' until a certain time to sleep, and was missing his "window" of sleep. By following his cues, he now takes 3 naps per day (mainly all in the Ergo) around 8 am, 11 am, and 1:30/2pm. It's not as important to me that he goes to sleep at 8 am and not 7:30 am- if he is tired at 7:30, we adjust and just nap then! These naps vary in length from 45 minutes to an hour and a half.

2. Understanding his sleep cycle. In the comments section, Kimberly reminded me that babies' sleep cycle is 45 minutes- and this makes SO much sense, because it is almost like clockwork that Israel will wake up from his nap at 45 minutes. If he's in the Ergo he can be quickly lulled back to sleep for a longer nap.

3. Lower our expectations for now. We needed to remind ourselves that he isn't going to master sleeping in the first few months home... this is a big area to accomplish! Also, if he had a bad night of sleep after a good night, we had to have compassion for our little guy and try not to get frustrated. This is a season! My friend MacKenzie sent me an amazing email and in it she passed on a lot of wisdom she's gained from her adopted twin boys; one thing that she said stood out to me: "Our God is healing Israel's heart every day.  He will start to sleep better.  He will even sleep through the night one day.  And every night that you spend rocking him while he cannot sleep, you are getting closer, and bonding even more, no matter how difficult it is. " 

4.  Do what works. For naptimes, that means the Ergo. I can try to put him in his crib, on the floor, in the swing, whatever... but he won't really nap well. I understand this is probably setting up a terrible cycle of dependency yada yada yada... but can I again say that this is just a season? I'm sure I'll miss the snuggles and the feel of his breathing as he naps. It is a privilege to hold him for 3 naps a day. I'm thankful that he falls asleep within minutes of being strapped in the Ergo! I'm thankful that he takes a paci (although he can't hold it himself and he will spit it out unless I literally hold it on his face for most of his nap) but because he needs to have the comfort of sucking, it helps him sleep during naps. **I will say that 3-4 naps per week I try to get Israel to sleep in the swing or in his crib. These naps are MUCH shorter than normal naps, but still a good break for mama sometimes where I can get something done around the house or just sit for a moment!***

5. Keep the routine. We've found that when we adjust our nighttime routine, it really throws Israel off. Will and I both have to be apart of his nighttime rituals or he doesn't go to sleep easily. 

So what about our nighttime routine?

Every night, we feed Israel dinner around 6 and then immediately go upstairs and give him a bath. When we are done with the bath we go into his nursery with the lights off (nightlight is on) and our noise machine is on loud. Then, we lotion him up, comb his hair, and put in his hair product. Will swaddles him with our Aden and Anais blankets. Will and I alternate who rocks him to sleep, but the other parent reads from the "Jesus Storybook Bible" until he falls asleep. The parent who rocks him to sleep gives him a bottle, which he may or may not finish. He falls asleep in our arms while we are rocking him.

He will then sleep for several hours, but he will stir every hour or so due to dreams that make him thrash. I have to go in there and pat him or he will wake up.

He usually sleeps until between 12-3 when he wakes up for a bottle and he USUALLY falls asleep pretty well at that point. Depending on what time he wakes up for that bottle, he will again wake up between 2-5 and is ready to be up for the day. This is when we will put him in his swing that our friends loaned us. He may or may not get a bottle at this point, but then he will go in the swing and I will leave him there, awake, and go back to bed. The rocking of the swing lulls him to sleep 75% of the time but he is happy there with the rocking motion. Then, depending on what time he went into the swing, he gets up between 5-7 and is ready to get out of the nursery. If its between 5-6 then we will put him in the bed with us. If it is later, then we just get up and start the coffee!

 I am happy to report that the night terrors and the screaming fits have dramatically decreased- we have about 1-2 a week now, instead of almost every night. We're definitely seeing progress!

 I'm sure that this post will look different in a few weeks, as we continue to adjust to our son's needs and his schedule changes as he grows. Right now he is 7 1/2 months and has been home almost 4 weeks. We're not trying to sleep train him yet, but we are hoping that consistency will allow him to have more restful nights! Thanks everyone for your input in our sleep issues and I'm sure I'll be back with more mommy questions soon!