The Beauty of Support

Will and I are very blessed that we have always had a very generous and loving support system. We have parents and family members who check in on us, offer childcare as needed (though we live far apart!) and would help us if there was any need that we had. Additionally, we have always been a part of churches that have acted like a "second family" who have helped us with fundraising our adoption, brought us meals when we were sick or had new babies, who pray for us and love our kiddos like their own. It is not lost on us how blessed we are to have this support. 

As I think through some of the "yes" calls in our life- ministry, adoption/special needs parenting, homeschooling (not currently homeschooling but we did for 3 years!)- there have been so many callings that we said YES to that we couldn't have succeeded in without the support of those who love us well. 

I have moved a lot in my life (as a child and as an adult) and have needed to start over many times. As a ministry wife, my husband's work hours can be lengthy and almost all of my church-going time is without a spouse. When my son is having his most "special-needs awareness" moments, it is often without my partner at my side -but there is the church body (college students to adults!). The lie that the Enemy tells me is that I am alone, that no one sees my pain or my challenges. This is not true, and I have to actively fight this temptation to despair. 

In New York, anytime I had a cold, my friend Cathy would make us homemade chicken noodle soup. John and Lisa would bring us groceries when we were not doing well (emotionally or physically!) and I recall in Jacksonville, when my neighbor Jennifer would bring us dinner almost every Wednesday night for a year when Will and I were both in graduate school and had two small kiddos. Here in Alabama we have already been met with the generosity of our new church - from letting us borrow vehicles when ours are in the shop to inviting us over to swim at their pools. 

Support is not easily found, though, and I wanted to share a little bit about how we have built our village. 

1. Get involved in relationships with others. You cannot be a part of relationships without taking a step in faith and reaching out for friendship. Through some texts of "want to come alongside us?" I have already experienced the joy of new friends joining us at the park or pool here in Alabama. Community takes some vulnerability and inviting others into your life. 

2. When you find a kindred spirit, prioritize that! I can think of some kindred spirit (Anne of Green Gables reference, FYI) friendships in my adult life that have been cultivated through 5am walks (Ashley in NC), park picnics (Lindsey in Jacksonville), library visits and spending mundane afternoon hours together (Ashley and Selah in NYC; Emily in AL). When you find a person that you think - man we have a similar humor/attitude/belief system, etc, dive into that friendship with intention. I look back on some of my friendships that were so life giving, even when they were time-limited because of seasons or moves. Emotional support, such as having a friend who can listen and speak the gospel back over you when you need to hear it, is vital. 

3. Support others. There is nothing better for my own soul to dig myself out of a pity party than to serve others. I enjoy writing letters, hosting people for meals, planning play dates, and praying for people. Being an intentional friend to others always helps my own heart to know that I have people that I can love on even when I am new to an area or feeling a little lonely. What brings you joy - can you invite others into that and bless them? 

Wherever you are in life - whether you can name 5 people or 15 people who would answer a call for you right now if you needed help, you can be a friend to others. As you serve others, you will build a support system for yourself. As you pray for others and invite others in, so they will also care for you and love you and your family as well. 

If you are feeling like you are forgotten, isolated, or alone - I am sorry. I know how hard it can be to feel unseen by the Lord, and that is how I often can feel when things are really hard and do not seem to be getting any better. There have been many times that I feel that I do not want to invite anyone in to the hardest parts of my life. When I am feeling this way, I need to focus on what I know to be true. What do you know to be true? For me, it is that always, forever, God cares for me and sees me. If I were to be abandoned by everyone on earth, I could not be abandoned by God. He has created me, has chosen me, and has good plans for me. Even in my suffering, in my moments of joy and grief, God is near. God listens to my prayers for help and for friendship. God has always taken care of me. 

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7. When we ask for the Lord to show himself to us, He always does. 

Photo of Israel's college buddies at Calvary - May 2023