Exposed
The other day I was chatting with a dear adoptive mama-to-be about how adoption really exposes your heart. Our adoption story seems like a cakewalk compared to their family's issues, but we each have seen the areas of our heart that need to be cleaned out! We talked about how working through the paperchase makes you realize your need to be in control, or how little grace you give to others (especially when people aren't working on your timeline, or people aren't prioritizing your case).
This summer our church studied through the ten commandments, and I remember really grasping the fact that this adoption can become an idol in my life. Then, it was the paperwork being finished, but now it can be that our numbers become lower and that we inch our way to our baby. On the AGCI listserve lots of us can get way too into overthinking the numbers, and possible timelines for bringing babies home based on trends or how many babies we think are at Hannah's Hope. Are we (myself included) missing out on what God is doing in our hearts each day because we are focused on what blessings lay ahead?
I recently heard that God's will is not a place or position but a relationship with Christ. That would mean that God's will for our lives isn't just that we will finally be parents to a little Ethiopian baby, but that we will know Him more each day. And this baby can aide in the Knowing Him process, or it can be a giant distraction and an idol in my life.
So as I sit with many months ahead in the waiting process- I must decide how I will use this time. Will I grow in my knowledge and love for the word of God, which will better prepare me as a wife and mama? Will I consistently give my heart to the Lord, willing for HIS TIMING and not my own? Will I give grace to those who don't understand our process, and point them to Jesus? Will I take every opportunity to give credit to the Lord and not to us for this adoption? Will I soak in the days with my husband, as we are a family of two? Will I take advantage of the flexibility I have now, and minister to those around me, or will I let this time pass by?
What about you? What is the Lord exposing in you these days?
This summer our church studied through the ten commandments, and I remember really grasping the fact that this adoption can become an idol in my life. Then, it was the paperwork being finished, but now it can be that our numbers become lower and that we inch our way to our baby. On the AGCI listserve lots of us can get way too into overthinking the numbers, and possible timelines for bringing babies home based on trends or how many babies we think are at Hannah's Hope. Are we (myself included) missing out on what God is doing in our hearts each day because we are focused on what blessings lay ahead?
I recently heard that God's will is not a place or position but a relationship with Christ. That would mean that God's will for our lives isn't just that we will finally be parents to a little Ethiopian baby, but that we will know Him more each day. And this baby can aide in the Knowing Him process, or it can be a giant distraction and an idol in my life.
So as I sit with many months ahead in the waiting process- I must decide how I will use this time. Will I grow in my knowledge and love for the word of God, which will better prepare me as a wife and mama? Will I consistently give my heart to the Lord, willing for HIS TIMING and not my own? Will I give grace to those who don't understand our process, and point them to Jesus? Will I take every opportunity to give credit to the Lord and not to us for this adoption? Will I soak in the days with my husband, as we are a family of two? Will I take advantage of the flexibility I have now, and minister to those around me, or will I let this time pass by?
What about you? What is the Lord exposing in you these days?
Great post, Bekah. Although we didn't go through the adoption process, I can relate with other things in my life. It always amazes me how GOOD (even biblical!) things can quickly be thwarted---and the hidden sins in our hearts emerge. Thank goodness we have the gospel to rest in.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post! Such a great reminder that God has great plans for us in this waiting time! And I don't want to miss out on them!
ReplyDeleteAmen! Since we talk about this all the time I won't bore you with a long paragraph about all the things I normally say :)
ReplyDelete